Saturday, January 12, 2013

I'm sorry Wilson.

I watched the movie Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, for about the 5th time.  You know how when you watch a movie over and over again, there are times you notice something you didn't notice in the earlier viewings?  That's what happened with me this time, only it wasn't an object or a mistake or an actor I'd seen before. It was like an "a-ha" moment.


If you've never seen this movie, the basic concept is that Tom Hanks plays a character named Chuck who works as an executive for FedEx. He gets on a FedEx plane late one night, and it goes down in the middle of the ocean. He was the only survivor of the flight and floats on a life raft until he hits land. It's a deserted island, mostly mountainous, and he spends 4 years on the island trying to survive. As he's there, some of the packages which were on the FedEx flight start washing ashore. He begins opening them to see if there is anything he can use. One of the items he opens is a Wilson volleyball.  It stayed in the box until one day when Chuck cut his hand badly, and he finally lashes out. He takes his bloody hand, palms the volleyball and throws it in anger. Once calm, Chuck finds the ball and in the bloody hand print, makes a spot for eyes and a mouth, turning a volleyball into a character in the movie. "Wilson" becomes his confidant, his friend, the face to attach all the thoughts in his head. When Chuck plans his escape from the island when a large piece of metal washes ashore and builds his raft, Wilson has a spot of honor and is tied down securely. During the escape, Chuck endures a bad storm on the waters. When he wakes in the calm of the morning, Wilson has slipped off his perch and is being carried away by the ocean.

This is where my "a-ha" moment comes in. Chuck then rolls off of the raft and begins trying to swim toward Wilson to save him. He's tired. He's stiff. He's sore. He can't get to him. The distress is clear in Chuck's voice. "Wilson! Wilson! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Wilson! I'm so sorry!"

He climbs back on the raft and sobs. Wails. Chuck gives up. This was the moment you can tell he totally gave up hope of surviving, of being found, of making it to dry ground. You can tell he did not care whether he died.

Even though he was trying hard to get home to his girlfriend, at that moment, Chuck's hopes were attached to Wilson. When Chuck lost Wilson, he lost hope. It reminds me that when we attach our hope to some thing, we are likely to have our hopes dashed. What happens when that thing is no longer there? Maybe that thing for you is a person. Maybe you attach all of your hopes and dreams to a person, your spouse maybe or your children. You say that you have hope and you survive and hold on only for them. They are your life rafts.

I came to the realization that we can't risk attaching all of our hope to someone or something else. We have to understand that we, ourselves, are important enough to survive for, to hold on for and to keep hoping for. Survive because YOU are worth it. Because you really ARE.

Toward the end of the movie, after he realizes he will not get back the one he loved, Chuck says, "I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring?"

Who knows, indeed.

8 comments:

  1. I have a very strong attachment to a pillow. I have had it since 3rd grade and I can not sleep with out it. My mom understands the attachment but I don't and my dad thinks it's just silly. I don't know what I wold do with out it though.

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    1. I swear on my life my little brother is the same way.he can't sleep at all without it

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  2. Much like the lady above me, I, too, have an attachment to a pillow. I've had mine for so long that I can't remember. But I can't sleep without it either. Even if I'm in the hospital, it has to be with me. I just simply can not do it.

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  3. It's strange how we can develop attachments to things like that. I have a god awful ugly mosaic dish in my kitchen which I can't seem to make myself get rid off. Even though I hate it, I'm too attached to it. And there's not even a good reason for it, no emotional life changing moments related to it.

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  4. Two years ago, tomorrow in fact, my husband of 19 years forced me to move out so he could move his girlfriend in. I have five children. All but one is grown. The youngest I'd 16 and lives with me.
    So often during the debilitating pain of this experience I've felt like the only reason I got up and tried to keep going was them. Only now, today...after a personal revelation about my "self-talk"...can I read your encouragement that I am worth getting up for each day and not cringe. I feel it finally, maybe for the first time. Amazing. Thanks for writing!

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  5. Never let anyone or anything hold your happiness in their hands? Because they're bound to drop it? That's so much harder to put into practice than to appreciate in theory.

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    1. No that's not really what I meant. My realization was that we can't put all of our will to survive onto something or someone else because what if that thing you attach your hope to is no longer there? Value yourself enough to survive for you. In other words, do you say "I live for my husband. He is my whole life. Without him I am nothing,"? What if that husband then decides he's going to leave or, heaven forbid, he dies? Is all your hope in your life gone? Is it nothing?

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  6. I needed to hear this now. Thank you. I have been in such depression for years and have said "I live for my kids" and of late my mentally defficient mother and mentally ill brother live with me and depend on me so I "have to be here for them." I know I have to put my ex straight and make myself mentally and physically healthy for MYSELF. My "WILSON" has to be God and I try, but fail. I do thank God for bringing me to your blog and can't wait to read more.

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