I'm sorry Wilson.

I watched the movie Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, for about the 5th time.  You know how when you watch a movie over and over again, there are times you notice something you didn't notice in the earlier viewings?  That's what happened with me this time, only it wasn't an object or a mistake or an actor I'd seen before. It was like an "a-ha" moment.

If you've never seen this movie, the basic concept is that Tom Hanks plays a character named Chuck who works as an executive for FedEx. He gets on a FedEx plane late one night, and it goes down in the middle of the ocean. He was the only survivor of the flight and floats on a life raft until he hits land. It's a deserted island, mostly mountainous, and he spends 4 years on the island trying to survive. As he's there, some of the packages which were on the FedEx flight start washing ashore. He begins opening them to see if there is anything he can use. One of the items he opens is a Wilson volleyball.  It stayed in the box until one day when Chuck cut his hand badly, and he finally lashes out. He takes his bloody hand, palms the volleyball and throws it in anger. Once calm, Chuck finds the ball and in the bloody hand print, makes a spot for eyes and a mouth, turning a volleyball into a character in the movie. "Wilson" becomes his confidant, his friend, the face to attach all the thoughts in his head. When Chuck plans his escape from the island when a large piece of metal washes ashore and builds his raft, Wilson has a spot of honor and is tied down securely. During the escape, Chuck endures a bad storm on the waters. When he wakes in the calm of the morning, Wilson has slipped off his perch and is being carried away by the ocean.

This is where my "a-ha" moment comes in. Chuck then rolls off of the raft and begins trying to swim toward Wilson to save him. He's tired. He's stiff. He's sore. He can't get to him. The distress is clear in Chuck's voice. "Wilson! Wilson! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry Wilson! I'm so sorry!"

He climbs back on the raft and sobs. Wails. Chuck gives up. This was the moment you can tell he totally gave up hope of surviving, of being found, of making it to dry ground. You can tell he did not care whether he died.

Even though he was trying hard to get home to his girlfriend, at that moment, Chuck's hopes were attached to Wilson. When Chuck lost Wilson, he lost hope. It reminds me that when we attach our hope to some thing, we are likely to have our hopes dashed. What happens when that thing is no longer there? Maybe that thing for you is a person. Maybe you attach all of your hopes and dreams to a person, your spouse maybe or your children. You say that you have hope and you survive and hold on only for them. They are your life rafts.

I came to the realization that we can't risk attaching all of our hope to someone or something else. We have to understand that we, ourselves, are important enough to survive for, to hold on for and to keep hoping for. Survive because YOU are worth it. Because you really ARE.

Toward the end of the movie, after he realizes he will not get back the one he loved, Chuck says, "I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide will bring?"

Who knows, indeed.